Dharma Talks of Düsum Khyenpa • Day Four
30 December 2025
In the previous teaching session, His Holiness the Karmapa taught on the subject of compassion which is the third point of the six—faith, prajna, compassion, finding the guru, requesting the teachings and putting them into practice—presented in the Dharma Talks of Düsum Khyenpa. In today's session, he offered a unique elaboration on the third point, compassion, and he touched upon the remaining three, reading excerpts from the Dharma Talks.
The compassion taught in the Mahayana is extremely important yet rather difficult to give rise to. Compassion is mostly known in teachings and scriptures as “the wish to free all beings from suffering“. However, His Holiness presented a different perspective, explaining compassion from three distinct angles based on three familiar human feelings: selfishness (focusing on one’s self-interest), loneliness (the feeling of having no friends), and sympathy (the pity or empathy common in our society).
We usually don't pay much attention to them though we encounter them regularly as they arise easily and mostly subconsciously in us. But, they are closely connected to the awakening of genuine compassion.
One: Compassion and Selfishness
Self-cherishing and self-interest are prevalent in today's society — almost everyone is selfish. Human relationships, economics, politics — all social sciences are built upon the foundation of selfishness. At first glance, the term “selfishness” appears to have little connection with compassion. It even seems contradictory. But is there a connection between selfishness and compassion, or are they fundamentally opposed?
From a common perspective, they are as opposite as fire and water, or mountains and plains. Yet, His Holiness explained, they set out from the same starting point. From the moment of birth, the wish to be free from suffering is naturally present in all of us. This basic form of selfishness manifests clearly as the thought: “I want happiness; I do not want suffering.” What is particular to selfishness is that "self" and "other" are separated very distinctly. Like the two horns on a cow — they do not meet. Compassion, however, takes this natural wish to be free from suffering and expands it outward. Knowing that "others too, like myself, want happiness and don't want suffering" transforms the wish for one’s own happiness into the heartfelt aspiration: "May you too be free from suffering and attain happiness".
What is the key point?
It's not about eliminating selfishness, but about expanding that scope of "me, me" and bringing others into it. How do we do this? Instead of blocking selfishness, we need to be able to use it well.
Through loving ourselves, we can develop love for others.
We all know best how to love ourselves. No one knows it better. This feeling is our starting point which we ought to expand by gradually adding empathy and sympathy for others. Then, the awareness starts to arise: "Oh, that person over there is also experiencing suffering alone. They too are waiting in hope for others to love them. They have the right to love themselves". This becomes the bridge for empathising with others.
Raising the level of our selfishness to "enlightened selfishness"
We often harm others in order to benefit ourselves. It is not difficult to see that such expedience ultimately leads to loneliness and obstacles. Conversely, if we genuinely help and assist others from the bottom of our heart, we invite real happiness and warmth, and this gives us peace of mind.
The "ultimate benefit for ourselves" from a long-term perspective is precisely to benefit others — this is skillful prajna [Skt. prajñā=transcendental discernment]. Some people think that the words “don’t be selfish” mean forgetting and neglecting oneself. That is not what it is. You don’t need to sacrifice yourself to benefit others.
Compassion has many higher levels
Through training our mind (lojong), more specifically, taking others' suffering upon ourselves and giving our happiness to others (tonglen), we gradually demolish the thick wall between "I" and "you". Eventually, loving-kindness and compassion can become as easy as breathing. This means that we are crossing the distance between ourselves and others. The distant attitude is when accomplishing benefit for others is: "I'm doing a good deed". The compassionate attitude is when we feel like we are simply doing "what needs to be done". It becomes something you enjoy doing and then — we won't cling to it.
When the tight knot of ego-clinging is released, a vast peace and profound harmony, like we have never known before, can be directly manifested.
In short, selfishness and compassion are not enemies.
Selfishness is like unfired clay, while compassion is like a beautiful pot shaped by the skill of prajna.
We needn’t be ashamed that we have selfish thoughts.
We should see that within our selfishness there is an extremely valuable power to liberate oneself and others from suffering.
Starting from striving only for ourselves, we need to be able to gradually extend warm and gentle love to the people around us, and then steadily expand it to all sentient beings equal to space.
Two: Loneliness and Compassion
Many people think: "No one cares about me" or "No one is being kind to me." The feeling of being lonely and friendless actually comes not from having no one around us, but from having locked ourselves up alone inside our own mind. We are not letting anyone else in.
For example, suppose someone builds a high wall. But, instead of earth and stone, they build it by only paying attention to their own emotions. They think over and over about their own suffering, thus generating strong attachment and the idea of being special which locks them inside that wall. Then, their days and nights become filled with looking at every crack and cranny in the wall — feeling more and more alone in this world with each closer look.
Attempting to lock the enemy out, they restrict passage to all sound and light. This is a wall of friendlessness and loneliness which has become their daily reality. They built it with their own hands but it's hard to demolish it.
Sometimes, when we ask ourselves questions like: "What is the meaning of my existence?" or "Why do I have to experience this kind of suffering?" it's as if all the spotlights on stage are shining on us alone, and we can't see anything else.
His Holiness shared his experience when teaching abroad and sitting alone on stage: the blinding spotlights make the entire audience disappear. Though everyone is there, it creates an illusion of being alone in the world.
In such times, the most helpful thing that will demolish the wall is turning our attention outward. Instead of fixating on the small issues in our mind, our discouragement and suffering, we ought to broaden our perspective and look outward. Look at real life and focus on what we need to accomplish, for ourselves and for those around us.
For example, see if you can show love to one actual person instead of just waiting for others to show love to you. See if you can take care of one pot of flowers or join a community activity and take on a bit of responsibility, rather than thinking that you are at the center of the entire world.
Tend to the living things and, that way, you enter the great river of actual life. Then, even if the feeling of friendlessness and loneliness does not become eliminated — it will lessen. It will ease.
Third: Compassion and Sympathy (Pity, Empathy)
Rousing compassion as explained in Mahayana scriptures is not easy. Compassion is not just a feeling of caring for others, but a profound wish guided by prajna and voluntary, self-inspired action. Sometimes there is a danger of confusing Mahayana compassion with feelings of empathy. In response to another’s suffering, a feeling of understanding their pain arises along with sympathy, concern and the wish to help. This feeling is like thinking: "I can feel your suffering." Empathy is accompanied by a feeling of separation between yourself and others and it can also mean: "I feel sorry for you". Through this distance, you might see yourself as superior to them; thus, empathy can imply a kind of arrogance.
But compassion is not like that. When genuine compassion arises, it's not a relationship like: "I feel for them." Rather, you see the suffering of sentient beings as if it were your own — yet the attachment does not arise. Moreover, true compassion is not directed at particular beings like relatives or friends — it is viewing all sentient beings equally.
In brief, Düsum Khyenpa’s “six points” are interdependent, thus compassion (as means) is developed through and interlinked with prajna. And prajna arises with help from faith. In conclusion, there is an inseparable connection between compassion and the view of interdependence. What is commonly known in society is empathy, but compassion is something greater than that.
The Four Great Obstacles to Rousing Compassion
Giving rise to compassion is difficult but that does not mean it is impossible. Rather, it means it is more valuable.
Feeling Exhausted by Compassion
When faced with others’ misfortunes, particularly when they are experiencing a lot of suffering, it may seem too heavy to bear, we might feel overwhelmed. We can distinguish two general reasons for this.
The first reason is: the age of technology we live in. We live in the age of information and there is too much of it in our lives. Daily we hear the news and see developments on social media about wars and numerous unfortunate events. The information is raining down on us. We are not faced with the situation around us but with manifold situations from around the world—all at once. Our brain has an innate capacity to protect itself and, when faced with so much disturbing information, over and over again, it starts to shut off. At first, the natural empathy in us will arise, but, over time, we start to feel like we do not have enough empathy for all, not enough attention for all of it. There is a limit to how much our mind can absorb — and the brain gradually becomes desensitized. We start to become numb.
The second reason is: the distance. We don’t actually see these world events. What we see on our technological devices is not a full experience because it lacks direct connection. When we scroll though social media, we catch bits of events, think: “Oh, that’s bad,” and move on, keep scrolling.
Individualism
In today’s society, individual needs that make us compete with others and save time are emphasised. Seeing others as opponents, we forget that we have this shared nature. We harbour the belief that there is always something more important to do in our fast-paced lives and we just don’t have the time or the ability to feel compassion.
We are only focused on our own lives: paying the rent, paying the mortgage, educating our children. We have no time to think about others. We feel that, if we are unable to solve our own problems, how can we help others? There is no room for love for others. And as for developing compassion, in the old days people had lots of free time, but our lives are full of busyness. We only stop when we go to sleep. There is no opportunity to consider the situation of others or meditate on compassion. We even think that that’s a luxury only rich people have but we have to work and can’t find the time.
Consumerism
We see a lot of ads on our phones. This increases our desire. Thinking that you must have all of these, your self-centeredness grows. The more you focus on your wants, the less you can pay attention to others’ needs.
Social media is seducing you with the ‘like’ button. When someone is leading you to subscribe and like, it in fact means: “Please praise me”. So you press ‘like’ thinking you are doing something beneficial.
Pressing the ‘like’ button decreases our actual ability to do practical things to properly benefit others.
It’s as if everything has become a commodity. Just pressing a button is not the same as helping others. So things become easier and easier and less and less valuable because they have become shallower and shallower, and everything is for show.
Rejecting Vulnerability and Being Obsessed with Positive Energy
These days we value optimism, success and strength. We consider an optimistic, positive attitude as being good. Many of us just want to push suffering and vulnerability away. There is a lot of discussion in that direction.
Sometimes even, when you experience suffering and you feel like you want to share with someone, they are dismissive and say: “Oh, they are so negative!” They label you as someone with “negative energy”. Dismissing people in that way decreases one’s opportunity to feel compassion. It reduces one’s capacity for deep empathy and true compassion. If we avoid our own suffering and are unable to feel for others in their hour of need, we have no foundation for arousing true compassion.
Four Opportunities for Deep Compassion Enhanced by Modern Life
The very obstacles to compassion in our modern life essentially embody very special opportunities to apply our prajna and thus develop particularly wise and resilient compassion.
Global vision — the Experience of No Borders
These days we see more than anyone ever has in history. We see far beyond borders. This means that nowadays our human karma connects us more tightly to one another than it had in the past. Climate change is one example. We can clearly see how our destiny is the same. Our karma is the same. That gives us greater opportunity to develop the true compassion Mahayana Buddhism talks about. No matter how far other people are, whether we know them or not, whether or not they are in the same culture, we can feel responsibility and care for them.
In the past, the older generation would say: “all sentient beings” and look up at the sky but they wouldn’t be able to picture the whole world. They had no idea where they were. These days, when we look east or west, we have more awareness of what is there. We have more opportunities to understand this huge environment and develop loving-compassion for all beings.
Science and “Rational” Compassion
Psychologists and neuroscientists help us understand the mechanisms of empathy and altruism. They give us observable proof that compassion meditation genuinely changes our brains, and that altruistic behaviour can bring deep happiness. This gives us more confidence.
Internet and Effective Compassion
The internet and modern charitable groups allow us to efficiently transform compassion into action. We can instantly donate online to disaster areas thousands of miles away. In the past, that was impossible. We can support charities and launch rescue campaigns on social media — even tiny goodwill can gather into a tremendous force.
Universal Pursuit of Mental Health
Modern society's increasingly serious mental difficulties (anxiety, depression, the feeling of emptiness) are prompting people to search inward — mindfulness, meditation, vipashyana/vipassana [insight meditation] and other practices originating from Buddhism are getting more popular around the world. Meditating on loving-kindness and compassion is also an important component. This provides more people with an interest in training their minds.
Reclaiming Compassion: Methods for Modern People
Begin Small
Put down your phone and look at the people in front of you. Sincerely listen to a friend’s or family member's troubles. Don’t rush into giving them advice, just spend time with them. Care for the security guard or delivery person with a warm greeting, at the very least. Connect with animals. Look at a tree. Plant a tree or a flower. How does it grow? Feed stray cats and dogs — they can easily touch our most primal compassion.
Decrease Information
Turn off the news feeds and social networks, entertainment and advertisements for a while. Consciously choose beneficial and helpful content.
Transform Grand, Abstract Ideas into Smaller, Concrete Actions
Thinking about the entire world can be overwhelming at first. You can't help thousands of people. But can you help one person? Do some volunteer service or sponsor a poor child? Even just give directions to a stranger who has lost their way.
Accept That Suffering Happens to Us — Don’t Be Ashamed of That
Allow the suffering, it is not inappropriate to have suffering. It’s okay to have difficulties. We and others all have suffering. We all have faults. There's nothing to be ashamed of in having a fault. We are all in the same situation. Because we are the same in feeling happiness and pain, we can work together.
It is difficult to grow the seed of compassion in modern society, but this just shows us how precious it is. When you grow flowers and plants in a greenhouse, they don’t contain a lot of nutrition. Finding mushrooms and medicinal plants high in the mountains is difficult but their nutrition and healing properties are powerful.
The Connection between the Six Points
On the subject of the connection among the six points, Dharma Talks of Düsum Khyenpa states:
Therefore, we need great compassion and wisdom that are linked together. The vehicle of the transcendences explains that we need means and wisdom that are linked together. The Gayashirsha Mountain Sutra [The Gayāśīrṣa Sūtra] says: “Means without prajna is bondage. Prajna without means is also bondage.” Thus, it is important to have means and wisdom that are connected. The meaning of the explanations in the secret mantra that creation and completion must never be separated is that if either one of the two is not present, you will not achieve unexcelled enlightenment — it is like a bird with one wing cut off, it is said.
Thus, for achieving the unsurpassed state of buddhahood — faith, prajna and compassion are all needed. On the foundation of having faith, you build prajna, and on its foundation, you build compassion. Means (compassion) is the accumulation of merit, and prajna is the accumulation of wisdom and the two are equally important, as is taught extensively in the Ornament of Clear Realization. Lord Atisha also taught this very skillfully in the Lamp for the Path to Enlightenment, and Lord Gampopa also extensively taught the importance of the union of means and prajna in the Jewel Ornament of Liberation.
Just like a bird needs two wings to fly, in order to achieve buddhahood, you need two wings: means and prajna.
The Fourth Point: Meeting the Guru
From Düsum Khyenpa's Dharma Talk:
You may have all three of those qualities, but if you do not meet a guru who can guide you on the path, they do not help.
Even if you perfect all qualities,
There’s no end to existence without a guru.
Without a ferryman a boat
Cannot get to the other side.
As this says, it is important to meet a genuine guru.
No one at all should reject the great.
Serve the spiritual friend in a subdued manner.
When close to them, their qualities and tameness
Will rub off on you, even without being specifically cultivated.That explains that we need to follow a genuine guru.
Regarding the characteristics of the guru:
The friend is subdued, peaceful, and fully pacified.
They strive for higher qualities and are rich in scriptures.
They've fully realized suchness and are eloquent.
Their nature is loving. Follow them without discouragement.There is not a single scripture in the secret mantra or the prajnaparamita that does not speak of the characteristics of a guru. In Gampopa's words: “You need someone who has cut the ties of dependence on this life, who can guide others on the path through great prajna, and who, because of great compassion, does not forsake their students.”
First, gurus who are dependent upon this life are suspicious of students who serve them and so forth, but they won't teach instructions to those who do not. They make this life as long in length and wide in breadth as they can, performing ever more wicked acts out of greed and hatred. Their students serve the master and commit more and more wrongdoing. If things go wrong, it is not difficult for oxen that are yoked together to fall into a chasm. Therefore, you need a master who has cut the ties of dependence to this life.
However, without prajna, a master will not know how to teach Dharma that is appropriate for those students' minds. In order to benefit beings who have many different inclinations, the master needs to teach step by step the instructions that match the students' intelligence. It is also said:
If they do not become learned in the five areas of knowledge,
Even the supreme noble beings will not achieve omniscience.
Lord Atisha said:
In this brief, momentary life of ours, we do not have the leisure to hear many treatises on non-Buddhist subjects such as grammar. We don't have the leisure to study them. The many treatises on Buddhist topics are what are important.
When you ask a lama for a Dharma teaching, it does not work if they say, “I don't know.” Therefore, you need someone who can guide others on the path through their great prajna.
But if they lack compassion, at times when they experience the slightest suffering, they will think that they are unable to care for the people around them and get discouraged. When you have to benefit many contentious sentient beings, it is quite possible that the moment you try to nurture them with Dharma, they will respond with many unkind words. If you lack compassion, it is possible that you might think, “Even though I've given them Dharma and worked hard for them, these dunces won't listen,” and then you might want to give up on them. If you have little compassion, it is possible that you won't do anything at all to care for your students when they experience suffering. Therefore the guru must feel such great compassion that even at the cost of their own life, they will do anything to prevent the students who place their trust in them from going to the lower realms.
The characteristics of the lama mentioned above by Gampopa are the third among the three [sets] taught in Dakpo Rinpoche's Great Public Teaching, namely [the lama] with two characteristics, with three and with four.
The Fifth Point: Requesting the Teachings
On this subject the Dharma Talks reads further:
Yet even if you follow such an authentic guru, it does no good unless you request the precious instructions. Dogs, horses, and other animals associate with the lama, but it does not help them. Merely serving the guru for a million years will not help. You must request the precious instructions that have not been muddled. They must not be like milk diluted for sale at market time. They must not be mixed with too many words and expressions. You need the words with blessings that have passed from one ear to the next.
The Sixth Point: Putting Them into Practice
Regarding how to receive teachings and practice them, from Dakpo Rinpoche's Excellent and Beautiful Dharma Talks:
However, if you do not practice appropriately, it is as if those instructions were confined to a notebook; they will not help you.
Does merely reading medical books
Bring benefit to patients?Reading about medical treatment does not help; you must prepare the medicines and take them. Similarly, just having instructions is not enough; you must practice them. The Bhagavan Buddha said:
I have explained to you the path
That cuts the pangs of suffering.
The Tathagata is the one who teaches;
You yourselves must practice.
Je Gampopa said in the Excellent Auspiciousness:
It is said that receiving all the explanations of many instructions is no different from music to a deaf person. It is no different from dying of starvation in the midst of limitless food and wealth — the fault is not being able to eat. Having the instructions is not enough — practicing is extremely important. It all boils down to this: When we are lying on our deathbed, drinking our last drop of water, surrounded by those close to us, and drawing our last, shallow breath, we need to go from light to light and happiness to happiness with the yidams and dakinis coming to welcome us. From now on, we each have to brush the snowflakes off our own coat sleeves. This is important. Please remember this.
May beings take up and practice the stream of nectar that the sugatas spoke well,
The ore from which comes happiness, dispelling the torments of the afflictions,
The supreme jewel on the sapling of enlightenment planted firmly in the mind.
And thus may they break free from all the places where there is suffering.
Thus spoke the precious guru.
With these words, the Karmapa concluded the teachings on the “Six Things” from the Dharma Talks of Düsum Khyenpa, with particular focus on the first three: faith, prajna and compassion. He remarked once more how vital and interconnected those first three points are. Without faith, you won’t be able to enter the dharma at all. Without prajna, you won’t be able to overcome samsara. Without compassion, you won’t be able to develop bodhicitta and achieve the ultimate awakening. They are extremely important so please keep them in mind.
